Smell My Breath!

"Smell my breath, daddy! Haaaaaah." I learn a lot from my kids. Not surprising; after all, Jesus equates child-likeness to godliness, and as the means of understanding God's ways, and experiencing life the way He intended us to experience it.

This is twice-daily ritual that my six-and-eleven-twelfths year old year old son conducts upon completing his morning and night teeth brushing. Running out of the bathroom, he declares, "Smell My Breath, daddy!", gets up in my face, opens his mouth, and proceeds to breathe right onto my nose. (BTW, the "Haaaaah" I wrote in the first sentence is my attempt at arranging letters in such a way as to "spell" the sound of this forceful exhalation.) The aroma that follows this excited and triumphant statement actually is pleasant--a cool, refreshing reminder of the Tom's mint toothpaste Jaden used to polish those pearly whites just moments before.

I've often prayed a prayer at the start of the day: "Lord, teach me to number my days that I would gain a heart of wisdom. Help me to live today like it were the only day--like it were my last." More simply put: "God, help me to live like Jesus today!" Living each day like it were the last isn't about living in dread, and it's not about mechanically preaching the Gospel to every person I meet. Rather, it's about extending God's love (welcome and honor), kindness, and compassion to every person I encounter. It's about living with excited, hopeful expectation that God has very good things in store for me as I follow His lead. (I'll state for the record: though I have prayed the aforementioned prayer, I've fallen far short of the kind of lifestyle I'm describing here.)

The Bible tells us that there is fullness of joy in God's presence. My seven year-old doesn't know this verse...but somehow he understands it, anyway. I know this because I see his joy and his eager anticipation at the start of each day. He gets very excited and is satisfied by the simplest of things. There's a purity and innocence in him that is so winsome and intriguing. Sure, life proves its ability to tarnish and corrupt these childlike qualities as we grow older... but that's not our God-intended destiny. Today I'm reminded that God's power is far greater than any force I experience in life. Today, I'm asking Him to continue His work of transforming my very being through the renewal of my mind. In that process of renewal, I'm believing Him for a increased desire to become more like my son--because I see so much of God's Son in him.

Onward!

The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you. I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you... and you will be a blessing to others. (Genesis 12:1, 2b NLT)

After more than 10 years on staff here at The Coastlands, God is transitioning me into a very new season of life. At the end of this June, I will finish my tenure as an employee of our church. This is an exhilarating, wide-open and a wee-bit nervy time. In the midst of it all, I am convinced that God is the One who is ultimately leading me. Because of this, I can be excited and hopeful about the "unknown."

These verses from Genesis strike me in several ways:

The "native country" is my time on staff. This is where I grew up spiritually; I've been raised here, and have spent the vast majority of my believing life here. I don't sense God leading me away from The Coastlands, but into a new context for experiencing Jesus' call on my life. At this time, I have some inklings of thought about what that could look like but nothing concrete in terms of employment direction.

God is asking me to "Go"...but He's not dropping me off in the middle of a deserted island and challenging me to figure things out on my own. I'm not in a Survivor episode! "Go" implies that 1) He has a "destination" in mind for me and 2) I have a critical part to play in getting there: actively partnering with the Lord as He leads me into the future. I can do this with confidence because I take Him at His word when He says that HE is the One who will lead me. I hear Him saying: "Don't look back; don't limit yourself to your 'previous experience'. Let Me define you. Don't rely primarily on what you already know; rely on Me, trust Me and watch for My lead. I'll let you know what you need to know when you need to know it. I am the One who provides for you."

"I will make you a great nation... you will be a blessing to others." This is huge. God intends and desires for all of us to be a blessing wherever we go. I believe this is God's statement to me that He intends to enlarge the territory within which I get to help others, and expand my "boundary" lines to encompass new land.

God's promises are for all who will believe. Pastor or not, paid or not--God designed every one of us to be inheritors of His glorious promises. Even more wonderful, He delights in fulfilling those promises in our lives. I don't know exactly what's coming next but I do know that when God is the One leading me, it's going to be good. Meanwhile, I'm doing what I know to do: pour over His word; talk with Him (and listen!) in times of prayer; and allow myself to be surrounded and counseled by the people who lead and support me. As a result of all of this, I'm standing on His promises, and hanging onto the fresh revelation He's graciously giving me. Occasionally, that revelation comes as a new, mind-blowing understanding; more often, though, it's a faint whisper or some other oh-so-subtle hint of what's to come.

Revived!

Before leaving for my recent mission trip to Thailand, our whole team received prayer. What a rich and life-giving experience! One of the words I received during this prayer send-off was that I would come back revived. I am grateful to God to say that word is being fulfilled! I am revived!

I am freshly inspired and determined to live differently than I've been living--specifically to "divide my bread" (i.e., share my life) with people around me, and to not hide myself from my own flesh and blood (Isaiah 58). I am also thankful to God for clarifying my vision; where I was previously prioritizing things (and relationships) according to natural tendencies and values, with an emphasis on getting things done, I feel that God has unwrapped something more of His own heart and priorities in my own heart, and allowed me to see more like He sees. For that (and for so many things we experienced during our mission to Thailand) I say, Hallelujah!

Mangoes & Sticky Rice

I recently returned home from a mission trip to Thailand. Among the many stories I can tell is this particularly sweet memory.

For two days we taught English at the Kids Camp in Mae Sod (at a local Thai Government school), we experienced the wonder that is mangoes and sticky rice. As sweet as the mangoes were, this dessert did more than satisfy our taste buds. It delighted our hearts because of the love extended to our team by Pastor John (who arranged for us to have them). On Friday, he could only find a mixture of black and white rice for the mangoes, so he was determined to find the traditional recipe of mangoes and white rice for us to enjoy on Saturday. A couple days earlier he mentioned he would do his best to make sure we enjoyed this typical summer dessert--even though it wasn't quite mango season. Pastor John followed through on his word--twice! This man is a Senior Pastor of a local church, works with the local government school director to do English camps, oversees several other ministries...Oh, and is the president of Foursquare Thailand--and took the time to get us mangoes and sticky rice. Pastor John didn't boast about it or draw attention to himself in any way as he delivered this gift. This act of thoughtful kindness and servant-hearted generosity made a lasting impact on our team.


In Isaiah 58, the prophet communicates the heart of God so clearly: Give yourself for the sake of others. When we divide our "bread" (i.e, our lives) with others, God promises that our "light" will break forth. When we look to people--taking time to understand their needs, and opening our hearts to extend ourselves to them--we experience what it is to be righteous (whole, full of truth, set on our purpose, walking in freedom, shining our light). What we saw in Thailand, captured so beautifully in the selfless gesture by Pastor John, is God's winsome and overcoming love. This love comes alive and fulfills its purpose through the context of real relationships (first with God, then with others). I'm realizing that I've been in a partially-dormant state with regards to experiencing relationship in this way. I want to respond to God's kind "wake-up" call by freely dividing my bread (and mangoes!) with the "hungry" around me. It starts with my wife and two sons, and flows outward to others. This is what I'm made for!

Help My Unbelief!

But if You can do anything, take pity on us and help us!"

And Jesus said to him, " 'If You can?' All things are possible to him who believes."

Immediately the boy's father cried out and said, "I do believe; help my unbelief." (Mark 9:22-24)

God, help my unbelief!

I re-read these verses this morning and once again am encouraged by the vulnerability and honesty of the father in this story. More than I am actively aware of (and more than I'd like to admit), there are areas of unbelief in my heart. I'm not talking about "God, are You really there?" kinds of questions. In the big picture arena, I have confidence: I know that God is there, that He is good, and can do the miraculous. What I'm realizing is that disbelief sneaks into my soul with regards to "Will You do this--for me" kinds of questions.

What I am describing here is challenging to articulate. I don't walk around with thoughts of "God, I don't think You can/will do this for me; I don't think You can/will change me." Yet, somehow I am aware of a hidden, undercurrent-mindset in me that must be based on unconscious (or semi-conscious) conclusions that I have made about what will or will not happen in and through my life. I wouldn't say, "That's just the way I am; I'm not going to change"; BUT... at times I seem to "act" (read: live) like it! My action (or lack of it) "speaks" these words without me having to mouth (or even think) them.

My job isn't to spend time and energy and thought trying to decide whether or not God will do a particular thing in me. My "job" (better said, God's invitation to me) is to trust and choose again and again to believe that He is good and has my best interest in mind. To delight myself in Him daily, and live out my belief that all things are indeed possible in God--for him who chooses to believe. I want to be counted amongst these kind of believers. Life in this world is often hard and painful. But in the midst of all that, there is an adventure awaiting me that I'm eager to experience. In these days, I'm asking God to search my heart for an hurtful ways that are in me. I want to exchange my unbelief for faith-fueled action. I'm praying that God will give me the courage to do that with the dawn of each new day.

I Remember the Future

I just listened to a podcast (twice now, actually) by Daniel Brown entitled "Press on to the Future." (Btw, if you haven't already done so, subscribe to the iTunes podcast for Commended to the Word Ministries. You should be able to find it easily by typing that title into the search window.) Listening to this has both reminded me of something I know and added to it new understanding that I lacked before.

God always points us to the future. Even when He asks us to look back, it's for the sake of helping us move forward.

Daniel makes a riveting statement in this teaching. Like a pebble dropped into a still pond creates a series of ripples that move across its surface, this "nugget" has caused a ripple effect in my heart and mind as I consider its implications in my life. Here's the statement (paraphrased): "Condemnation always points us to the past in a way that offers no hope for the future. Grace always points to the future in a way that offers hope of being freed from the past."

As I think about this statement I'm asking the Lord and myself, "Where am I stuck on things of the past?" Mistakes, bad choices, and things that have happened to me have a great power over me--if I let them. Good times, too, and things that used to be--these can also keep me shackled to the past. Kinda hard to move forward when you're chained to something that no longer moves. I'm not just talking about things long ago. I'm thinking of things that happened just last week, or even just a couple days ago.

God isn't primarily interested in how well I manage to conduct my life. It's by grace through faith that I have been saved (not by anything I have managed to do on my own strength), and thereby made "right" in His eyes. Problem is, that never satisfies the pride and self-imposed (and unattainable) requirements that seem so religious to me, even though they fit nowhere in God's ways or plans for my life. How sobering is this growing understanding that God is showing me: Apart from the way I feel "good" or "bad", there's really no difference between feeling superior because of what I have been able to accomplish and feeling like a loser because of what I have messed up. Both are self-focused and self-absorbed perspectives that leave no room for God or His grace. Whether I'm exalting myself or pitying myself, God is out of the picture. And when He's out of the picture, so is the future that He promises me. (One of the verses Daniel explains is Jermiah 29:11, which speaks of the future God has for us--a future that can only be attained if we hold fast to Him and let go of our efforts to be good according to our own religious standards.)

One thing I've learned over the dozen years that I've walked with the Lord: Feeling bad about my mistakes is death; but so is my inclination to linger on "the good old days." I'm a broken man who falls flat on his face with great frequency and skill! BUT... God's grace is always sufficient to raise me up to my feet once again. Now that's something to boast in. My prayer today: "God, help me to let go of my Josh-accomplishments and failures." Like Paul, I want to equate them to rubbish in comparison to the surpassing awesomeness that characterizes God's super-enabling GRACE in my walk with Him. There's NEVER a shortage of that grace--except when I'm disallowing its rightful place in my life. He faithfully and freely offers it to me; I want to take hold of it with the same faithfulness.

OK With Not Knowing?

This is a journal entry I wrote a while back. I just happened upon it again, and was encouraged by its timeliness. I love that about God--the stuff that has been true remains true... and continues to apply to our lives in very personal and real ways.

“But Sir,” Gideon replied, “if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all His wonders that our fathers told us about when they said, ‘Did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?’ But now the Lord has abandoned us and put us into the hand of Midian.” The Lord turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?” “But Lord,” Gideon asked, “how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” The Lord answered, “I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites together.” (Judges 6:13-16)

What strikes me most about these verses is that God never directly answers Gideon’s question. It's the same question people have asked for millennia, and the same one we’ll be asking until Jesus returns: “God, if You are real, and You love me, then why does such and such happen???" God's response to Gideon's question was, "I am sending you, and I will be with you. You will have victory over your oppressors.”

Gideon had every human-way-of-thinking reason for doubting that God was with His people. They had been oppressed, plundered and exploited. In truth, God had left them to the severe consequences of their own choices. In his limited perspective, Gideon didn't understand this, and so came to his own conclusions as to what this must mean about God.

Gideon is a great inspiration and encouragement because he is both very human (doubting, fearful, and initially unconvinced—-needing plenty of evidence that God was really sending him) AND godly (full of conviction, resolve and faith-filled-boldness—once he became convinced that God really was in this).

How often do I question why things are the way they are, and not get the answer I'm looking for? How often do I desire and even ask God to change my situation, only to have it stay the same? It’s certainly ok to ask the questions; it’s part of the process God desires to take us through as we wrestle out our faith. God likes to test us. Not to mess with us, or to try to find out if we’re good enough (He already knows what He needs to know about us: we’re broken, imperfect and in constant need of His intervening and enabling grace!). Rather, He wants to teach us again and again to rely upon Him and His strength so that we can see the impossible (humanly speaking) become possible (because all things are possible with Him). Better than asking God, “Why are things this way?”, is to ask, “God, what do You want to change in me and do through me in the midst of my circumstances?”

When I ask that question, I set myself up to see the proof of God's abiding presence and faithfulness in my life--even when I forget what He's done in my past. Behold what I WILL do, He says, and in doing so, He answers, I am with you!