Epiphany

I had an epiphany about marriage last night. I'm excited--and a little bit startled--by the realization that suddenly came to me. I'm excited because this "discovery" gives me something very practical to do; I'm startled because it's surprising to me that the realization feels so "new" (as though I'd never thought of it before).

It came to me in the form of these two questions: 1) What if I asked my wife what she really enjoys doing when we're together; and 2) What if I asked her what she really appreciates me doing (with our boys, around the house, etc.). Both of these are summed up in a principle of marriage I think about often but put into the form of a question much less frequently. The question would sound something like this: What else can I do to bless my wife...and what more can I do to serve her?

I think I'm pretty good at philosophizing about things like this but have lots of room for growth when it comes to finding practical ways to actually DO SOMETHING! God has given me great vision and goals for my marriage... But what am I doing to accomplish those things? The two questions in the paragraph above are SO simple...but their answers could have a profound readout in my relationship with my wife.

I'm looking forward to asking the questions and excited about what the answers will give me to do.

Praying for My Boys

I love to pray for my boys when they go to bed. The prayers are longer or shorter depending on how late it is for them--and for me! (If I'm home late from a meeting and they're already in bed, I'll quietly enter their room, put my hand on their heads, thank God for them and bless them; it takes all of 3o seconds. I am convinced God still hears it. =)

I often pray that they will fall in love with the Lord from an early age. Then I bless them with a statement like this: "May your life be characterized by radical obedience to God...seasoned with oodles of grace."

I want my boys to obey God because they come to understand there's nothing better than a life lived like that. I want their obedience to stand out--as a hallmark of their deep love for God. I want their deep love for God to motivate them to trust Him and His ways so completely, that they look forward with excited anticipation to following His instructions for their lives. I'm talking about genuine love--not a counterfeit impostor rooted in empty religion and fear-based compliance.

This is a prayer for my own life, too. I want my obedience to increase because my love for my Maker grows deeper. I want to live a life characterized by listening to Him and following His lead. This is the best way I can express my love for Him. As my obedience increases, my love grows--and I become more intimate with God. These things not only go hand in hand, they're inseparable.

I love to pray for my boys. And as I pray, I am filled with hope for their lives...and that gives me even more hope for mine.

Living the Works of Jesus

I had a great conversation with a friend yesterday that got me thinking about my own life. He is passionate in his belief that any words we say (about God, His kingdom, etc.) ought to be substantiated by works that are consistent with those words.

Jesus said that the world will know we are His followers when they see (and experience) our love--for each other and for the people of the world. He also said that when come to know the truth, the truth will set us free.

We've got to hear the truth in order to know it. For a teacher-type (like me), this is easy; I can turn most opportunities into a teaching (doh!!!--I think I've done it again!). The important question is, am I also living my life in a way that confirms that teaching? And, am I leading people in that way? One of the (many!) areas God continues to challenge me in is extending His love in practical ways to the people around me. This should start at home, then extend outward.

Just the other day, our neighbors gave us some hand-me-down toys for our youngest. This is at least the second time they blessed us like this. The Lord gripped my heart as I realized this, and a question followed: What have I done for them--our neighbors?

As I (re)assess my priorities, I ask: "God, help me to seize every opportunity to demonstrate Your love in practical ways to the people whose lives intersect with mine." I have to remind myself again: I don't have to preach a sermon to spread the Good News.

Oh, Yeah--REST!

Speaking of rest, I've been telling myself (and my wife) that my new nightly goal is to be ready for bed and in bed by 10pm. I don't generally go to sleep that early but if the teeth are brushed, the chores are done, etc., I can unwind by reading a book, a magazine or just watch a little TV.

It's 10:18:30 right now. I'm late; I've missed my goal. Might as well keep playing on the computer. Just kidding. You have my word; I'm done for the day!

Looking forward to that book...

An Unexpected Break

My family and I experienced an unexpected break this past weekend. No, no one gave us an all expenses paid getaway to Hawaii; it wasn't anything like that at all. Instead, apparently someone gave us the stomach flu.

Van, our youngest (10 months old) got it first, and like the rest of us, is still very much recovering. Jaden, our oldest (4 1/2), got it perhaps the worst, which has been his pattern with stomach ailments; he called out "bucket!" many, many times over a period of about 40 hours. My wife, Jessie, got it nearly as bad. I bowed only once before the porcelain throne but was still down for the count the whole weekend. Today (several days after contracting this thing), we're feeling about 60%.

Whenever I get considerably sick like this, I wonder: "If I were better at knowing when to rest, would I have gotten this?" Whether the answer is yes or no, I'm thankful for the thought. It causes me to reflect a bit on my life, my priorities, my struggles...and my relationship with the Lord.

For the past couple of years, I have felt God challenging me to rest. Hebrews 4 says that there still exists a sabbath rest for God's people. In the Psalms we hear God say, "Be still and know I am God." Why have I had such a hard time stopping to rest? Is it because there really is so much to do? (When won't there be?) Is it because I'm a committed and hard-working believer? (Or are these just covers for being driven?)

In Matthew 6, Jesus tells us to not worry about tomorrow. Here's what I'm discovering: Resting has as much to do with trusting God as anything else. (It's also an issue of obedience vs disobedience...but that's another discussion.) TRUST. Do I believe God is faithful regardless of what I do or don't do? Will I count on His gracious provision when I'm on the move AND when I'm still? Or do I think that His activity in my life is dependent upon and determined by mine--as if somehow He can't move if I don't move first?

We all have certain things that will continue to challenge us throughout life. The apostle Paul spoke of the thorn in his flesh. Some things we overcome; with other things we continue to fight the good fight. This doesn't discourage or depress me. Rather, I'm freshly provoked to engage in battle once again. The strange thing about rest is, the fight is about laying down (my) weapons and implements, not picking them up.

I want to trust God more with more of my life. I wonder if doing so could even result in better physical health..? I know with confidence that it will benefit my life and deepen my relationships--with people in general, with my wife and kids, and most important, with the One who gave me life in the first place...and who promises to give it to the full.