Know Self-Control

This coming weekend I get to teach a workshop at our annual Men's Advance. I'm teaching on the topic of self-control.

Recently I put in a new light fixture in our bathroom, built & hung simple shelves in the garage, and designed, constructed, and installed a pair of floor-to-ceiling bookshelves in the living room. All three of these things confronted me with significant challenges, which I will summarize by saying: I got angry!

I have a history of being short-tempered. Not so much getting angry with others as getting angry at myself or at the things that I'm working on. Occasionally this impulsive pattern rears its ugly head again, and this recent series of episodes was a particularly vivid example of that. "What's wrong with me?," I heard myself thinking; "Why am I getting so angry so fast?"

One morning, after I had completed my projects, I was reading in Titus and came across this verse: "Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled" (Titus 2:6). As my eyes scanned these eight words on the page, this uncomplicated verse brought everything into focus for me: much of the frustration I had been making a place for in the recent days was an issue of (no) self-control. God had spoken to me. No angels singing, no visions of paradise, no lightning bolts or thunder--"just" a moment of revelation that brought conviction, peace and clarity: "I can chose to have self-control." I can know self-control.

Since then, I have had some bad moments, but increasingly good moments, too. Something IS different. I hung another light fixture in our bedroom, a project which really shouldn't have taken more than 90 minutes to complete, but instead required an additional trip to OSH, and which offered me a several specific opportunities to get frustrated. INSTEAD, however, I "kept my cool," and chose self-control. It really was that simple.

Now, as moments come up during which I feel that old, familiar impulse, I keep hearing that promise, in my own words: "I can have self-control." This is God leading me...and I'm grateful to Him when I say that, more often today than a couple weeks ago, I am choosing to respond in the way He is encouraging me--and not be led by the "old man" who so wants to have his way with me!

Out With the Old, In With the New

My wife and I have been selling old clothes and furniture on eBay, Craigslist, and at our recent yard sale. It's amazing how much cash we've been able to earn by getting rid of old (mostly nice) stuff! We'll soon be able to complete our overhaul of the living room, all without a budget line for that purpose--and without going into debt.

We're doing this for two reasons: 1) to make money to purchase a new piece of furniture for the living room and a flat-panel tv (now strongly considering a plasma over an LCD!), and 2) to downsize and purge! (As a side note, this process has also afforded me the opportunity to do something I wouldn't have otherwise done: engineer and build a pair of book shelves modeled after a similar structure Jessie saw at an Anthropologie store. This was an adventure, a test, and at times a frustrating learning experience that deserves its own entry; perhaps I'll get to that a later date!)

My wife is exceptionally effective at getting rid of things. This was an adjustment when we got married, and is still sometimes a challenge 10 years later. (I have been known to pull things from the garbage that she discarded. I don't even want to think about the spiritual implications of that!) I will add that I'm grateful for this quality in her. I used to be a hoarder, and still lean in that direction. Jessie helps me lean the opposite direction and it's done me good. There's still plenty of "stuff" that I really like to have and hang onto, but I'm much better at letting go of those kinds of things today than I was several years back.

All of this has got me thinking about the last two verses from Psalm 139: David asks God, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way." David doesn't suggest what that "hurtful way" might be because he's waiting on God to reveal it to him. In my life, I think of it in terms of broken places in my heart and mind that hurt others and/or hurt me.

I've been doing a self-inventory lately because God has revealed to me (and in me) a "hurtful way" that I was previously unaware of. While I never look forward to discovering "new" undesirables in my soul, I do look forward to God purging my life of those undesirables. As I rummage through all the stuff in our closets, drawers and garage, I'm also asking God to do the same in my heart. I'm eager to trade that stuff for His everlasting way; it's the way that leads to fullness of life. (Oh, and I'm looking forward to that plasma tv, too!)